I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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