I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
