True but thats because hes a fetus.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
