i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize