After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
