sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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