I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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