if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
