Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
