So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
