two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Fuck appropriateness.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
