Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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