Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
