I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have post one night stand depression
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
