do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
