your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
