She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
