yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
