We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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