Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
