hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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