That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
