Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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