i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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