Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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