Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
