Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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