love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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