You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
