If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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