Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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