how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
