yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
