When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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