He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
