This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
