just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
