You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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