Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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