how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize