mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
