And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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