I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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