The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
