I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
