I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
