Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
