fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Buhtt sex?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
