The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
