Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
