there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
