I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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