My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize