i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
