i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
