she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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