please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
