There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
