it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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