Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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