WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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