Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
