I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
