We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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