im holly from the hills drunk
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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