Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
