yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
