I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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