saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im holly from the hills drunk
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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